Chuck Norris.

Yup, you heard right. Chuck Norris facts.

-Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Two times.

-Lots of people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.

-Chuck norris does not get wet, it's the water that gets Chuck Norris'd.

-Chuck Norris frequently gives blood donations. But never his.

-Superman and Chuck Norris did a dare, and the loser had to put their underwear over their pants.

-Christ is born in 1940 before Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris can win '4-in-a-row' in three turns.

-Chuck Norris has no watch. He decides what time it is.

-The last man who got a handshake from Chuck Norris is Jamel Debouzze.

-The only thing on the foot of equality to Chuck Norris is... His sock.

-God said, 'Let there be light!' and Chuck Norris said, 'Say please.'

-Chuck Norris divided by zero.

-Chuck Norris understands Jean-Claude Van Damme.

-Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

-When Google can't find something, it asks Chuck Norris.

-One day, Chuck Norris gulped down three packets of sleeping pills. He blinked.

-Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully charged gun.

-One day, Chuck Norris lost his alliance. Beginning from that day, sh*t happens in the middle earth.

-There is no evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris accepts to let survive.

-One day, Chuck Norris ordered a steak at a restaurant. And the steak obeyed.

-Chuck Norris already went on Mars. That's why there are no signs of any life form back there.

-Charlie hides himself because of Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris measures his heartbeat with the Richter ladder.

-In a normal room, there are 1242 objects that Chuck Norris can kill you with, the room included.

-If Chuck Norris played in '300', it would be named, '1'.

-Chuck Norris knows the last decimal of Pi.

-Chuck Norris can surround his enemies. Alone.

-One day, Chuck Norris wanted to teach Jeet Kun Do to mentally ill kids. That's how tecktonic was born.

-Chuck Norris eats the plastic of carambars. We don't joke with Chuck Norris...

-The force of gravity is the act that the world places itself under Chuck Norris.

-When Chuck Norris urinates in the wind, the wind changes direction.

-Chuck Norris has no suppositories. The way of the lords have no entry.

-Chuck Norris can choke you with a wireless phone.

-Chuck Norris can do graffiti on the wall of sound.

-Chuck Norris is against radars on roads; it blinds him slightly when he goes on his bike.

-Chuck Norris can make you live the worst fifteen minutes of your life in 8 minutes.

-Chuck norris is dead since 10 years, but Death didn't find bravery to tell him that.

-When Chuck Norris' toast falls, the jam changes side.

-Chuck Norris can leave a message before the beep.

-Chuck Norris won Super Mario Bros. Without jumping.

-Chuck Norris like life. Life is lucky.

-God wanted to create universe in 10 days. Chuck Norris gave him 6.

-Chuck Norris can tackle people in miniature football.

-Chuck Norris didn't send letters to Sant Claus. He sent ultimatums.

-At school, it's the teacher that had to raise his hand to talk to Chuck Norris.

-Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris walked on Jesus.

-An eagle can read a journal from 1400 meters. Chuck Norris can flip the page over.

-J.C.Van Damme breaks nuts with his butt. Chuck Norris breaks J.C.Van Damme the same way.

-When Chuck Norris uses Windows, it does not screw up.

-A tear from Chuck Norris can cure cancer, but, unfortunately, Chuck Norris doesn't cry.

-Chuck Norris doesn't beleive in God, but God beleives in Chuck Norris.

-When Chuck Norris passes in front of a mirror, there's no reflection: There's only one Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris and Mr. T enter into a bulding. The bulding explodes, as it cannot contain such an amount of awesome.

-Chuck Norris will be declared the man who threw weight the furthest, when the weight finally touches ground.