Ranting and problems

I had the most horrible week ever in my whole life (which is, as I recently found out, completely ruined). I don't even know why I'm writing it here.. I guess some subconsious urge to tell 'secrets'.

Long story short; I'm pregnant and I have no idea what to do. Abortion is so.. It's like murder to me. I mean, that little baby is also part of me. It lives. It's still really miniscule but that doesn't matter.. A little human is growing inside me.. Very strange thought. And also, who am I to decide about life and death?

I turn 15 in december.. Never thought this would happen to me.

I hope what you're telling is true, because, or else, I'm seriously going to get pissed off if I've been writing this message to try and help you for the past time that I spent here.
Okay. You're pregnant. We need more information. Was this rape? Or was this voluntary? Or was this, even maybe possible, just a problem that occurred? We need to know these, to try and help you. But remember, Nyx, only teens are here to help you. No adults. We've never been in the same situation, and we don't know what the hell to do also. So, try to speak of it to your parents, and if you already have, try to remain as calm as possible to not falter in your answers.
We never think this thing would ever happen to us. Just... Stay calm, and speak as honestly as possible.

... I'm the one who needs to stay calm.

Really, why would I lie about something like this? I write it here because this forum, even though you guys don't know me that well, gives me a very secure feeling.

I don't like to talk about it.. It was rape. My best friend, who I completely trusted since childhood, deceited me in one of the worst ways. I mean, it was normal for us to sleep over! Even though he's 17, it was always okay. We are gaming buddies and stuff.. Never, ever did it appear in my mind that he'd do something like this. The worst thing was that he kept telling me he loved me so much. Over and over.

I really don't dare to tell my parents. They're seriously going to kill him. And I have to admit, although he has done something like this, he's my best friend. The police will lock him up. I don't want that. I'm just asking myself how my life managed to get so messed up..

Rape? Ah, that's bad... You need to talk about it to your parents. Sooner or later they'll find out.
And how did you learn that you were pregnant?

Period stayed out. Normally, my friendly red visitor arrived last week. He didn't. Then I just went to a marginal store and bought two tests to be sure. (because they sometimes aren't accurate) They both showed a plus.

Honestly, if I were a girl, the first thing that would come into my mind, would be that abortion would be th first solution. Even though it seems like murder, a child living as the conclusion of rape is a very humiliating thing to live off of, and especially it would shock them once they would find out, so much that the youth could do many things. You don\'t want to know what people could do. And to prevent this, would be to kill the unborn before giving birth. I get and fully understand your point of view, and I rather acknowledge it, but this can\'t be concluded of the such. I think you\'ll also understand my point. Even if the child is of your best friend. He should understand what he did is completely wrong. And, completely humiliating for you. So much, that he didn\'t think of it as he did the act. You need to get that message in his ears.

I know.. I'm seriously considering it. But imagine being a woman/girl; a little being is inside of you. Depends on you and is part of you. But it is true, if I'd find out I was the end of a 'rapehistory' I'd be depressed as hell. Gone is the happy family. I don't know about him.. I still have to tell him. Actually, now's the first time I wrote/told about it. I just couldn't keep it a complete secret anymore.

Don't worry, I think you did the right thing... Exalok is telling me at the moment that I'm being 'sugar daddy' here, and I apologize if I seem so. But, I'm just reminding you, we're teenagers, and teens only. The best help would be from a doctor, or someone who's actually been in the situation.

lol You can respond to him that I really don't mind. I needed friendly advice more than you'd think. A doctor would be best indeed. It is only so humiliating.. I know a girl who kept her kid; she's very happy and has said me a lot of times already that the first year is hell. Babies can't do anything on themselves; they can't talk, there only way of communicating is crying,..

I don't know. And that's something that hasn't happened a lot yet.

the best advice that i can give is tell your parent's. I'd i know how scary that sound's but they only be there to love and guide you. i speak out of exspereanc i had kept something from my parent's because i thought thade kill me in the end they found out on there owen and have been nothing but loving and sportive a bought it and attowe this sounds cheese my one regret was that i dident tell them my self

I'm going to leave the following answers to the other females of the site... I'm a male, and I already gave you my advice. I hope this works out well... I hope I helped you.

Hey,

I'm really sorry about what happened to you, although you're probably going to get sick of hearing that after a while. CnP has given you some good advice, all but one point. You shouldn't just rely on other teenagers. You probably already know this, but being pregnant is a really big thing. You need to talk to someone older, a trusted teacher at school or something. You don't have to get the guy involved. You keep his name and any details about him hidden. Normally adults don't focus on that. It's up to you if you want to tell your parents, but you should tell someone about it and see what they recommend that you do.

Again, I'm sorry,

Ally.

That's what I said... There are only teens here, and that it would be best to consult a professional... I guess the other part was kinda useless...

I'm am all so sorry no should have to go what your going thure and i agree with Allyssianne and CMP. And i all so wanted to let you know that you'll be in my prayers.

CnP, you really did help me.. More than you can imagine probably. And I know you guys are only as old as me, that was why I wanted to hear your opinions and what you think about it. Adults sometimes have a way of thinking I don't like.


@DarthElmo: I know and understand I should.. It's just that my dad is very controlling and -like me- very stubborn. The reaction I expect from him is first disownage before kicking me out of the house. Not kidding.


Allysianne, please don't bother about me. I am 'glad' you feel sorry, but I'd rather not have people being upset about this. I am and that's enough already. The great problem is that I'm afraid I'll regret whatever choice I make. And at the moment it seems so humiliating, having to go to a doctor because I got knocked up. I really don't know about the guy.. I think he should know, but it'll probably make things much, much more complicated.



Thanks so much for your support guys.. I really, really appreciate it.

Nyx i know i dont know your father but i do know what it's like to be a guy( we all think exactly the same) and to have a stubborn father( realy on that level hes off the charts) but all father are born with a the dissire to protect there children double so for daughters. his first responce would be to tare the fathers head off since it wasn't your fault there's no way he would want to kick you out of the house

Yes.. That's also a bit what I'm afraid of. What he did was terrible and awful; but I don't want anything bad to happen to him. My father.. Knowing him, he'll rant about the fact that I should've known better, that he always said that Hinun wasn't any good and now it gets back at me.. After he killed him in the cruelest way possible that is. I love my father and he loves me, let me make that clear. But he's one hell of a stubborn, 'allknowing' man.

tare his head off ways an exaggeration (sorry even when im sires im joking just the way i am)
but really as i said all i have to go on is my own experience which is that i was doing something that i thought my dad was going to kill me for and instead he only showed love and support ( not one of his strong suit's let me tell you) so that's i can say. beounde that all i can say is that all be praying for as much possible and i wish there was more i could do to help.

Certain hospitals and doctors handle this sort of thing all the time, and they have to keep it confidential. Go speak to one, and try and get it sorted, your parents won't have to know.

And this will sound rather nasty, but did you not think of...well...screaming during the rape?

Gabriel wrote:

Certain hospitals and doctors handle this sort of thing all the time, and they have to keep it confidential. Go speak to one, and try and get it sorted, your parents won't have to know.

And this will sound rather nasty, but did you not think of...well...screaming during the rape?

Dude, she said she didn't want her friend to get into any trouble...

But rape is rape. Even so, it could have been avoided if she had screamed, or alerted adults. Because i don't think telling him to stop would have done it.

Were you in the situation? I don't think so. I think Nyx also should of done what you said, but now it's too late, and she found a reason why she didn't want to.

I can't imagine being in such a situation. You hear of teenage pregnancies all the time, but you never think it'll happen to someone you know, regardless of how little you know them (in my case.)
Still, all the good pieces of advice have been suggested.

Believe me, I did. And don't worry about asking nasty questions.. I'm thick skinned.

I tried everything; screaming, scratching, biting, kicking... It is horrible to fight against your own friend, to know that you can't do anything and that no one is going to help you. The problem was that his parents were away and he lives a bit isolated. I never thought this would happen.. It's normal for us to come over to each other; when we did we also slept in the same room. There had never happened anything. Until two weeks ago that is.

Then we're going to get along, thick skinned is good. I seriously suggest telling your parents, tell them everything. If your friend gets in trouble, well its his fault, not yours. He knew what was going on the minute he started, he made the CHOICE to rape you, as soon as he started, he was no longer your friend.