The Diary of a Shadow II (Real)

Ok, the last one died and became full of spam, so here we go again...

An intro may be one of the best places to start...

I'm Jennifer, although people also call me Jenn/Ally/Allyssianne/Shadow (I prefer Ally personally, but as my parents saw fit to call me something else, I just put up with it...). I stand at about 1m70 (close enough), with longish blonde hair (still tinded red after a strange dying experiment over three months ago...), blue/grey eyed with a fairly stocky build.
Most people think that I'm probably stronger than most girls my age, thanks to having started to do rigorous exercise over the last few years. It started with horse-back riding, about five years ago (It's harder than it looks, trust me. No one ever shows you the bad stuff on TV...) , and I took up athletics at the start of the 2007-2008 school year (hammer, shotputt, high jump, long jump and sprints).
I love writing. Stories, RP, poems... Anything and everything that ever comes into my mind. I also love drawing, even if it does get really frustrating...
Ok, personality...
I got the nickname 'Shadow' from my old athletics club, who called me 'L'ombre', 'the shadow'. Let's just say a habit of standing in the darkness and hardly ever speaking kinda gives that impression. I can switch from laughing to being completely p*ssed off in a matter of seconds... beware... (lol). If I think of anything else, I'll let you know...

People I know (so you're not totally lost...)

Alba (yes, the same one as on the site...): One of my very best friends, whom I can trust. A fellow dr who/torchwood fan, and fellow fail when it comes to most geography! A little bit mad and forgetful at times, but normally always there when you need her. Not much more to say about you other than... YOU RULE!

Bart (again, the same one): What can I say? There aren't many words to express it, so I'll keep it short and simple (no Vrael-like riddle language...): I love you more than anything. You make me feel safe, like nothing else matters. I would trust you with my life, and that's not something that happens everyday. In short, you're wonderful.

...
List will be added to as I go along...

Diary of a Shadow 1: Wednesday 29th April, 2009

What a joy... My parents have restricted my PC time bacause they think I'm addicted to the internet. *Cue eye roll*. Seriously. It's because before I discovered RP, I was seriously depressive, and even then for a while until I met a close group of RPers, and I created this site.

I normally have to go to the psyco/madhouse (AKA the psycologist) on a wednesday, but I got out of it because my mum mixed up the dates of a dentist appointement. Unfortunately, this also meant that I missed my riding lesson, but oh well. It was a jumping lesson, and I'm still unsure about jumping after an accident I had at the start of the year, which ended up with me spending seven hours in accidents and emergencies with the smell of horse lingering around. Either way...
Double french (boring), P1 (AKA, history and geography in french, also rather boring. Who WANTS to know what happens within the four walls of the UN?), and Art (also boring, because we're doing a project even the dumbest 6e (first year) owould be able to get his/her head around). Put it this way, a bad night's sleep and boring classes never go together (I nearly fell asleep several times). Tomorrow, however, I probably won't be in class because of a train strike. We'll wee. If I'm in the court yard at 10 o'clock break, I'll be in class. Otherwise, no.

Anyway, I'd better go to bed before my dad yells at me for being on the computer for longer than I'm supposed to be.

Ally signing out
G'night!

Diary of a Shadow 2: Thursday 30th April 2009
Well, I didn’t go to school in the end today. There wasn’t much point (AKA, I wouldn’t have had one of my main classes and I had no way of getting home until about 10 o’clock at night). I don’t know whether to count that as good or as bad...
I know one bad aspect of today anyway. I now have only 5 functional fingers. Explanation:
Ok, yesterday, I was taking the dogs for their long walk, ok? I run with them as I always do, when one of them decides that it would be smart to dart out in front of me... As you would normally expect, I went flying and pretty much landed on one finger, thus staving it. So that was already two out of ten gone as you have to strap a staved finger to the strongest one next to it. Unfortunately, I realised later, once it had swollen up, that my thumb on the same hand had also been affected. There goes another one. Three out of ten. Then came today... Trying to hold one dog back from the other’s dinner (I forget exactly what happened), but I jammed a finger on the other hand against a doorframe, thus putting out two more fingers. The athletics team are gonna kill me... I have an important competition tomorrow and, as the only girl hammer thrower in my age group that can thrown it over ten metres, I have to be there to represent my team in that event. In short, we’re doomed...

If you want, I can dress up as you, and take your place.
...
Wait, scratch that idea <.<;;
Oh well. I hope your fingers recover soon enough. 'Tis good to see you update the diary, though, xP

Diary of a Shadow 3: Friday 1st May 2009
Ok, I'm putting yesterday now because I didn't post yesterday.

I went to the athletics competition, and the only words I can really think of to describe it (in french) are: "Je me suis completement PLANTE!" This basically means that I messed up well and truely. Read on to find out...
Ok, lessee...
First event: 50m sprint
Ok, this didn't go too badly, I was somewhere in the top third of the running anyway with a time of 7 seconds 88.
Second event: High jump.
This is an event that I have a couple of problems with, but it's the one I prefer over all of them. I have this problem when it comes to jumping over 1m25. The problem is: I just can't jump it. I ALWAYS, without exception, run out on the da*mned thing. Something I need to work on I guess...
Third and final event: Discus
*guilty grin* Let's not talk about the trauma caused to the judge, ok? I'm a hammer thrower nrmally, but there weren't enough people to make it worthwhile, so it was cancelled. This meant that I had the chpice of: Shotputt, javalin or discus. I HATE shotputt, as it's the only throw you ever do in the winter. I can't throw a javalin to save my life, so there was only one option left.
Ok, throw one, it went out of the arc its supposed to land in.
throw two, I managed to throw it!
Throw three... I nearly decapitated the judge...

So that pretty much sums that up...

Diary of a Shadow: Monday 4th May 2009

Ok, I've just spent an unplesant hour de-ticking two pooches, and I wish I was in bed right now, trying to catch up on the five nights' sleep I haven't been able to take (d*mn that essay and that nightmare). Not much happened during the weekend, apart from having a lapse into a fairly severe depressive episode, courtest of that ******* essay. Either way, I'm going to skip over that and move onto today.

Eight o'clock, double sport. And the teacher FINALLY turned up! It's been like, six weeks since we've seen her. Unfortunately, we've just started volleyball, and there are two things I've found that are not good about this.
1. Never, EVER play against Squeaky if you get the chance to avoid it. His method of winning is hitting the ball so hard that the opponent can't hit it back without gaining bruises. (Squeaky is an annoying show-off prat at school).
2. My RIDING teacher could teach a better lesson than that. H*ll, her HORSE could teach a better lesson than that...

Ok, ten to twelve, double maths. And I forgot my writing book at home, so I had nothing to do. Well, I started another story, lol. What would happen if the demonic crew had to go to school? *evil grins*

One to two, German. I don't really remember much from that class. I don't think I was really paying attention. Wait, scratch that. I wasn't paying attention, point blank.

Two to four, physics and chemistry. This was a rather disappointing class. Well, apart from the teacher looking murderous... Imagine Raven with glasses and brown hair and you've got a pretty good idea of what the teacher looked like...

Four to five, english language. We spent the hour practising for the orals for entrance exams into the senior/high school. That went ok.

Five to six, english literature. I'm beginning to hate this class with a vengence. Puti it this way, when you start fantisising about taking a knife to his throat, you know you've either been playing Raven for too long, or you're seriously pissed at him. Ok, you know that essay I was talking about up there? No? Go look. I'll hang around. Read it? Yeah, that essay. We were supposed to hand it in today, right? I have this aversion to writing total b*llocks on a paper that isn't a test. I can't right complete b*llocks on this paper because of that. My parents say I left it to the last mintute, and I need "to plan my time better". My response to that: "What time?". You get the point.
Anyway, I told the teacher that I couldn't write his paper, (and it's not just me that found it hard, although I seem to be the only one that finds it impossible), and he went on about how I could never do his essays, and that I had to start it there and then. That ticked me off (I mean, yes, 'I can never do his essays' I wonder why... NOT), and then he doesn't seem to get that I am not deaf, and I do not need him any closer than a metre when he needs to talk to me. I nearly hit him then. Now, to top it all off, he's told me to do the paper for thursday. HELLO! If I couldn't do the d*mned thing in the first place, are three days going to make a difference? NO. So yeah, I'm in mid depressive episode here.

*emo not-so-fail*

Diary of a Shadow: Wednesday 6th May 2009

Ok, school was as boring as ever, so I'm gonna skip over that, ok? Good.

I had my riding lesson today, and it was unfortunately enough a jumping lesson with a temporary teacher who does not understand the meaning of 'trying to get your confidence back'... *makes mental note to accidently-on-purpose trip him up near the muck heap*. It didn't go as badly as it could have, although I made the class laugh because I messed up on an exercise:
Teacher: (to the rest of the class) Qui est le plus intelligent des deux? Who's the more intelligent of the two?
Me: Appache. The horse, in other words, lol

So, after that was the madhouse... I told her about the annoyance with the essay, and she was telling me to ask Allyssianne and Shadow* about it.

So I got home... AND FINALLY DID THE GOD D*MNED THING! Ok, yes, I rambled on a whole load and basically did everything I could to make it seem longer, but I DID IT!


* Allyssianne and Shadow, basic explination. The madhouse was asking me who Allyssianne and Shadow were when I was explaining my dream to her. Basically, they're the two people I associate with the two sides of my mind. Allyssianne is the darker side (why I didn't call her Raven instead is beyond me...), who normally seeks revenge on people who get on the wrong side of me. Shadow is the more docile side, which I try to use more often than Allyssianne. Ok, explination over. You now all know that I am completely BANANAS!

Diary of a Shadow : Monday 18th May

Ok, I"m sorry I haven't updated in... well, ages. Not a lot has happened that's interesting, well, interesting for anyone reading this in any case. We did something vagaly interesting in Physics/Chemistry today. We made batteries... with potatoes... Yeah, I know it's not one of the most interesting things in the world, but it was actually great fun to be honest.
I've got two riding competitions coming up soon. My first ever official competitions. Well, I cmpeted once before, but that was in an unofficial one that my club was hosting... I came fifth, which I really liked because I beat the really snooty girl who thought she was going to beat me even though she couldn't actually put her saddle rug on right (Long story short: There weren't enough horses to go round, so the horses that were fit enough had to do two rounds. The horse I was riding would have had five minutes to rest, but he was one of the 'veteran' horses, who took it all in his stride. Thing is, the other rider was before me, and she used all her own stuff on the horse. Therefore, I had no time to actually prepare the horse before going in for the warm up. Yeah, I was kinda pissed at her...)

Anyway, yes, I am going to be competing soon. *crosses fingers for not ending up in an ambulance again like after the last course of jumps I did* (It terrified the hell out of the riding teacher because I hit the wall and ended up in accidents and emergencies for seven hours. Welcome the the french health system).

So, rant over, I have just bored you to death on the subject of horses, so I will now leave you alone. I will (try) to write very soon. Don't hold your breath in other words...

Jenn

Diary of a Shadow: Tuesday 19th May 2009

*headdesks repeatedly*

Ok, explination for that: One of whom my brother nicknames the SS (nothing to do with the Nazis before everyone starts to think he's nuts... well, he is, but more hyper kinda nuts).

Ok, in the SS, there is a General, and a Captain, and that is how I will refer to them. The General is the main one. Let's just say she's been bugging me for FOUR YEARS about my lack of social life including people of the male gender, (Just because she changes boyfriends like she changes her socks...), and now that I am in love with someone and the fact that we spend a lit of time together she thinks entitles her to ask all the really annoying questions that certain I never pestered her with when she's going out with someone.
ex:
General: I've got a new boyfriend! He's soooooo cute!
Me: Ok, that's nice. *walks away*

Maybe I brought it on myself by doing that, but I don't really know. Now I get pestered with questions about kissing and about sex that I don't even want to talk about, and certainly not to her. She will twist EVERYTHING I say.
ex: (Maths class)
General: So, when are you going to have sex with someone?
Me: One, it's not legal yet and two, it doesn't concern you.
General: *shouting across the class to the pervert of the class* Jenn wants to have sex with you!

Er... any idea where on EARTH she got that from?

Either way, we now don't seem to be getting any peace...

Ok, rant over. You did't have to read the whole thing because it's basically all randomness that's been happening and ha no coherant thought in it what so EVER.

Jenn.

B and L strike hard, eh?
Don't worry. Your not the only one to be questioned in class.

Diary of a Shadow: Wednesday 20th May 2009

Ok, let's just say I'm very glad I don't have school tomorow, because sitting on a school chair is going to be a rather 'tender' subject. Put it this way, the riding teacher confiscated the stirrups (the metal things on a saddle that you put your feet in) from the entire class, and we spent the rest fo the lesson (45minutes) trotting... on the most uncomfortable horses in the stable... *ouch*
I'm not competing on Sunday after all, because the horse I was supposed to be riding just went lame (started limping), and is therefore not going to be able to jump on Sunday. Oh well, I've got another competition on the 7th June, so that should be ok.
Ok, that's all this time...

Jenn

Diary of a Shadow: Monday 29th June

Ok, I am still kicking myself. Why? Long story. I'll try and shorten it.

On the 7th of June, I participated in my first riding competition on an appaloosa horse called Appache. Getting there was a complete disaster. We got lost (three times) trying to get to the stable that was hosting the event, and I therefore missed walking the course, and also, my horse, although I had spent over an hour grooming him to perfection the day before, had a huge stain on his hindquarters! So yeah, I arrived comepletely stressed out, but I to pull myself together and jump a clear round, coming 16th out of 44.

Yesterday, I had another competition, well, it wasn't really a competition. It was more of a party at the club so that the parents could see the progress that we made. I was riding Appache again on the jumping course for my level (Galop 4-5), and we flunked. Refused fences, and the fact I nearly fell off three times... When I finally got off the horse, I could barely stand up as my legs were shaking so bad.
Then, to put salt on the wound, the other two girls who were riding him, on the same course, jumped clear...

So yeah, I'm still kicking myself.
And I've got to go and see if I got into the high/senior school today, and tomorrow and Wednesday, I'm sitting my first federal exam of many. Talk about stressing you out...

I feel your pain sister... about the exams that is... not about the horse sh*t. lol

Great that you ride competitions too! (Aren't horses just awesome!)

The same always happens to us.. I have no idea how I manage to get lost every time.
The nerves will get better. That I can tell. Don't worry about the jumping, it will only improve, I'm very glad you didn't fall. I've had to jump off a scared shitless horse.. Wasn't even my fault Jack became frightened. But I couldn't ride for a year. Some vertebrae were moved because of the impact on the ground..

How long do you ride already?


(Appaloosas are beautiful )

YAY! Another horse enthousiast!

I've been riding for nearly six years, you? The appaloosa I was riding is my favourite. A pain in the butt sometimes but still. There are photos of my first competition under the photos thingie, and he's the horse I rode on Sunday. Ah well, he was unnerved because he wasn't used to seeing so many people around the place that's normally really quiet. He was the same during the beginner's rounds. Thing is that I had a bad accident last year during a jumping course and I was sent to hospital with a concussion after hitting the wall. Wasn't really the horse's fault. I turned too sharp for a double and she's a reformed trotter, so cantering's not her strong point.

Aaah.. I LOVE riding!!

Me too! If you take out that one year I couldn't.. My fav is Aegir, he's a fullblood. Very stubborn but awesome in jumpings, dressings and races lol Do you like to ride without saddle too? I find it amazing to do.. You can feel every movement of the horse.

Oh yeah that sucks, I had it too a few times. Then they start cheering you on and you feel the animal tensing even more. I'm always really sweating in such moments.. The thing is that Aegir, because he's a full, has fire in his character.. He even gets more hyper when the crowd cheers.. Lots of stress then. Oh, do you still feel the trauma? I do.. It's really annoying sometimes. Mostly when I race. I'd also like to learn the western style. What are your fav races?

I love bareback riding! Lol, in one of my previous stables we used to do bareback games. They killed your butt the next morning but were great fun! And yeah, I still get scared sometimes when I'm faced with things like triples, but I'm getting over it.

Races? If you mean like breeds, then it's probably Arabs, Shires, Thoroughbreds and French Saddlebred.

That's so awesome! We always went riding in the fields with our group.. Yeah, I found triples scary too in the beginning, but it's so much fun to do!

Races.. Yeah, translated literally from Dutch.. Sorry if it isn't right. Nice Arabs are so beautiful and great to ride with.. I like Haflingers, Andalusians, Anglo-Arabs, Lipizzans, Belgian warmblood, Boulonnais (really awesome to ride with because of their height..), an English one.. Forgot the correct name and Friesian horses..

I love a lot more but it would be such a long list.. Did you ever do barrelracing?

Friesians are gorgeous! I've got one living near me and she's really beautiful. I envy her owner greatly. DO you have a horse yourself? And no, never tried barrelracing, but I did to stunt riding once. It was great fun!

Sadly, no.. I really want one. But then again, it takes so much time; I don't really have a lot. A horse needs to get enough attention.

Friesians are great for dressings! I had the opportunity to ride on a Friesian some time ago.. One of the best rides yet. Yeah stunting is awesome! I really love it... (is there anything I don't love about horse riding?) I like to stand right when they're galloping; with a rope that is.
Hmm.. Did you swim with a horse yet??

lol, technically I did stunt riding twice, but once was involuntarily. I've swum with a horse, yeah, it's great fun! I'm trying to persuade my parents to get me a horse, and I know exactly the one. There's a stable where I go for riding holidays, and she's the one that helped me get back in the saddle after my accident. She's for sale now, and the stables I ride at during the year are looking for horses to take on in half-pension (using the horse in lessons, but you still get priority and all that), because everyone's outgrowing the ponies.

Haha involuntarily.. Did the horse act weird? Oh I'm so sorry about your accident though.. I'm glad I dared to ride again immediately. Were you scared a lot? Hmm.. I think you have a big chance, maybe the manège (French is easier to describe it) will buy it. Seeing as they need new horses. Poor ponies.. They're so much fun! I still remember the first time I sat on a 'real' horse.. Gosh I was scared. It was so huge!

I couldn't get right back on. The other five falls, yes I got right back on, but I had back and head trauma so there was no way I would have gotten back on the horse. The first memory I have is in the ambulance...
I'm used to riding horses now, because when I started riding I was already a bit too big for the ponies, but I did ride the cheeky ones. But I agree, ponies are good fun, and they're really cute.

You don't need to worry about french, I'm fluent in it!

No, I meant to ask if you were scared to get back on after you revalidated.. I know a lot of people who never dared to touch a horse again after an accident.. It's so sad. Two members of my family died in a race.. Well, I luckily remember everything from my fall. Just one bit of black where I've been uncounscious. I remember that I 'woke up' and couldn't move my legs anymore. Gosh, I've almost never been that frightened in my whole life.. I thought I was paralyzed. But it was my spine doing crazy because of the fall.. How long did it take you to heal fully?

Yeah me too.. Sometimes it's a bit scary though, I'm not that big, and when you ride one of those huge guys I still feel a little sting of stress.. But it's so great to ride no matter what! Haha, my teacher's really sadistic!

You're from France, right! CnP told me lol

Ah, yeah I was scared. That's why I'm so greatful to Iliana (the mare I want to buy), because I was only with her that I actually felt safe on her back. She was bigger than me, but hey! It took me three weeks to recover from the fall, but another couple of months before I could walk out of the house without worrying if I had my painkillers because I became really prone to headaches. I couldn't do anything on my own for about three days. I couldn't even sit up because my back would feel like someone snapped it and my head would feel like someone dropped a mountain on it.

And even though Iliana was huge, she was great! But yeah, I agree with you. Being that far from the ground is kinda scary...

Such a beautiful name.. What's her breed? I'm glad you completely recovered!! It would be so awful to never ride again.. Doctors told me I'll probably feel it for the rest of my life, at first I kind of went insane because I thought I could never ride again.. But I can so no probs

And they can run so fast! I like the speed. Horses are such elegant creatures.. I spend hours on grooming Aegir xD Poor boy haha..